Merry Christmas

I've been dreaming of this

A beautiful view of a sweet christmas

Sugar coated rooftops

Icy pavements

Naked trees

All are greeting me with such warmth even though its minus something degrees

Christmas trees with their amazing scent

Beautiful people in their thick coats, boots and furry hats

Dreaming about a kiss

mistletoe, where are you?

Make this christmas special

help me find my love

mystery guy? not so much...

We met again

A casual nite

Again u walked trough the crowd

To greet me with ur charming smile

How was I to know

That I was going to be fooled once again

I should be an expert by now

But still I can't distinguish between jerk and gentleman

U put the bottle down

After pouring me my sixth drink

Looking into my eyes

I was lost

Cheers!

And soon ur lips touched mine

But I did not expect

That when she came and yelled at u

I could only freeze and stare

Yet I stiil had the ability to stumble across the room

Finding my way out

Escaping the awful truth

Yes I have been fooled again

To: S

You come in and out of my life like it's a game. I feel like a fool for never letting you go. You always gave me hope but you tear me down everytime you leave. I'm angry at myself for being so hopelessly devoted to you.

 I wish I could tell myself to give up on you, but everytime I look into those eyes I keep falling deeper and deeper. They times when you are near they are so amazingly beautiful. I enjoy every minute and second of having you by my side. But when you leave I drown in an ocean full of pain. My heart suffers everytime you break it. The wounds have become scars and they will remain forever and ever. They are reminders that tell me that the past was real.

 My heart will never be whole again. The pain can only disappear when you come and smile it away. Only your smile can melt the ice cube that captures me. You should know that I love you like noone can ever love another being. You cannot imagine how much I've got to give. If only you could see what I'm going trough maybe you would never leave again.

I'm such a fool...

Everytime you leave

Everytime you go

I will miss you so

But I know that you will come back to me

You always come back to me

It's like I'm a glass of water

You fill me up when you're thirsty

But you put me down when you're hydrated enough to walk away from me

I must be a fool for opening the door everytime you knoek

I must be a fool for letting you hold my hand

So that you can have have a grip when you need one.

How come I'm always there but you never seem to care?

I hope that one day you'll change

I wish that one day you will learn how to love like I love you

Oh, I'm such a fool for saying Yes

When the answer should be No

Oh, I'm such a fool for staying up till dawn

Waiting for your call

One day you'll be reaching out for me

That's the time when I slam the door at your face

When I hold my breath and look away

One day I won't be a fool

One day I'll know better than to wish for you everyday...

My mystery guy...

You walk past the crowd

The loud music beaming between us

Still you say hello

I’ve never seen you before in my life

But somehow I saw a light in you

You knew who I was

Spared me the introduction

I asked for your name

The loud music still beaming between us

Couldn’t hear it

You shook my hand

I smiled, I was mesmerized

You waved goodbye and turned away

That was all I had left of you

A memory of your charming face

But then how was I to know

Just when I was desperate enough

To stop thinking about you, wondering who you were

You walked past the crowd

To say hello

Remember me?

 

 

I never loved you

I never loved you

And I never will

Maybe it is something you already know

Maybe it is something you will never learn

When you think of me

your name has never even once crossed my mind

I guess love has got you blind

I'm no good

I'm just toxic, a murdering substance

I'm sorry

You can tell me I love you as many times as you want

I can't promise you relief

Coz I don't have a response

I'll just stand there like a statue

I won't even let you look into my eyes

To search for hope

Coz there’s none

 

Come back to me

Where are you?

Wherever you are right now

Do u think of me

Do u remember us

Coz I do

Whenever I do the flashback starts

I see me and you

Holding hands

Embracing each other so tight

Kissing so tenderly under the moonlight

So innocent so pure

Its so intense

But why

Why cant you just stay

Why are u leaving again

Will u be back this time?

 

He ran his fingers trough my hair and kissed my forehead 

signs that made me believe he loved me too

but now he's gone...again

and this time I just cant take it

I  just cant handle the fact that he’s not around

it used to be easy for me, coz my feelings were not this intense

and I was with other guys who distracted me

but now its just torture

I’ve fallen to deep

I’ve drowned in the ocean of his twisted lie of love

and he’s just not there to save me

I wonder if he’ll be back this time

Even though you are no longer around

I can still feel that you are near

All the memories are spinning around in my head

You’ve been gone for so long

It’s a sweet and sour torture

Do you really think I deserve this?

 

I walk along a street and find the point where the sidewalk cracks

That’s where I will never put my feet on,

Cause I have learned that I will never fall at the same spot I did before

You call me, hearing me act out how I am okay

Well I am not, but you will never know that

No, you won’t

 

You don’t give me a chance to show you

That there is a lot more to me

I just wish you’d come back

Do the things you used to do

 

We used to talk until dawn

We used drive in silence

And burst in awkward little shots of laughter

But it was beautiful

Your silence makes me weak

You magically defeat my ability to speak

 

Will you ever come back?

 

It's just to hard...

It’s just  too hard

Too hard to breathe

When you’re not around

I lose control

I can’t think

I don’t eat

Deeper and deeper I sink

Into the ocean of love

But you’re not there to rescue me as I drown

I fight and fight

But this feeling is just something I cannot defeat

All I know is that you kissed me so passionately that night

There are so many reasons for me to cry

But I tell myself to hold it in and remember that moment

When your lips touched mine

All I can remember is the taste of you

I hold on to what I know is beautiful

The way you ignore me

Is an awful torture

Give me another moment I can remember

Lock me in once again in ur sweet embrace

Pull me back into a love so pure

So innocent

Please don’t go away