Sometimes I wish there were no mirrors in this world
so I don't have to be reminded of how fat I am everytime I see my reflection

so sad

Sometimes I curl myself up on the bathroom floor
I cry my heart out
Because I don't see myself
I don't see it at all
All I see is imperfection
I hate being in this skin
Trapped inside this huge body
I see beautiful people all the time
It breaks my heart that I'm not one of them
Instead I cry on the bathroom floor wishing that I was......

i'm only fooling myself

I spend my days being curious

When there's nothing to figure out

Guys will never be gentlemen

I have always been well informed

Yet, I'm such a fool everytime

When I'm hoping for something new

the threat of an end haunts me

It makes me wonder if anything is worth a try

I wish you'd leave me with some kind of prove

That tells me that you're for real

I can't take anymore lies

I can't lose anymore games

My heart has finally found it's pieces

Yet little cracks remain

It can never return to its perfect shape

So please don't rip it apart

It takes too much time too heal

And time is running out

Wish I could press rewind

Or turn the hourglass around

I wanna go back to the start

And tell myself to slow down at the happy parts

And just press pause

back on the horse

As I step into the stirrup
Pulling myself up
To sit on your back
I sit up straight
Enjoying the rhythm of your pace
As u walk on the sand
A feeling so familiar
So comfortable, so alive
As you start to trot
It's like my body knows how to work
I move up and down
Feeling your hoofs brushing over the ground
So smooth, so tender
In our transition to canter
I hold my breath, wanting to stop this moment
And hold it in my memory like a photograph
Every stride you make is every breath I take
The obstacle in the center of the arena
We slowly approach
As I sit back, pressing my legs
Giving you impulsion
We move closer to the fence
I hear your breath
A sound of excitement
Your ears all straight up
We both have the same desire
You lift your front hoofs, bend them carefully above the pole
We fly
Three seconds pass
We land
I now know this feeling
I'm home