When it all comes down to simple need

When it all goes down to into a deep black hole

You’re all alone, all alone

You want to run but you have no destination ahead of you

So many versions of the truth

Scared to believe any of them

Scared to find out what could hurt you

So I hide away in my dark cold room

Shut away every thought about you

Close my eyes so tightly cause I don’t want to see

Stop my heart from bleeding out

Scream out loud and hope it counts

Push my limbs and bones further

Stretch my spine

Put my head up high

Act like I’m on top of the world

Act like I’m invincible

Truth is behind my painted smile

There is a girl struggling

There is a girl screaming

She wants to survive

She wants to let go

She wants to believe that everything will be all right.

I dipped my feet in too deep
I fell in
Realized I couldn't swim
Now I'm drowning in my own tears

Confusing

Sometimes I just want to scream in your face
Throw my hands in the air
and let it out
But everytime I want to shout
My heart weakens and it's not fair

You always find a way
To shut me up completely
When I'm out of words I can only pout
I cannot break out in anger or in tears

All I want is to play along
To those games you set your own rules to
But I lose every time I make a move
You're on fire one day and freeze me up the next
With you I am always lost

Mr emotionally unavailable

I knock on your door
You open it only halfway
we only get to talk on your front porch
we sit close to each other yet we don't touch
I say I  love you....you turn away and sigh....

No Strings Attached

No ties
No lies
Baby it's just you and me
Late night sex
Breakfast not included

Love is like a boardgame
Since we're both players
We're both  rolling the dice

Hey mr puppet master
Do they come cheaper without the strings?
Hey mr puppet master
Aren't they just everyone's favorite things?

No cuddles
No muddles
Baby we get to be free
Making our choices
Melancholy not included

Love is like a pokergame
Now that we're both players
Who gets to tell the fuckin lies?

So get up and face the truth
Are u willing to risk ur pride
Stop the running, stop the hiding
It's still a game someone's gonna lose

Grieving

There u go
Leaving no footsteps behind to trace
No I'll never find u again
Ur a once in a lifetime happiness
I cannot replace
Slowly ur face is fading away
But ur not erased
No u'll always be there
Beating in my heart
I'm not alone
U will always be around
To remind me of a great loss
Of a pain so sweet yet brutally fatal
I long for u my love
Yet, I can no longer reach out to you
I will never meet ur eyes again
Oh those beautiful eyes
I wish to have u near me
Yet I can no longer touch u
Only hold a photograph
That can remind me of an amazing past
I am stuck between looking back and glancing forward
Maybe one day u'll reach out to me
And we'll be together again
What a childish innocent wish

Denying Regret

Watching the tears roll down my face
As I stare into the broken mirror
My mascara painted a zombie
A beautiful yet painful horror

I try to remember
I try to retrieve it all
What got me here? Please take me away

*
It was late at night
I travel back to that moment
We felt so alive
We threw it all away
It was late at night
And I forgot to pray

wiping the black lines away from my face
I have learned that u nvr meant to stay
So I told myself I've got nothing left to lose
Please oh please take me away

I try to remember
I try to retrieve it all
What got me here? Please take me away

*


I denied it all
So I hid away
Losing my ways
Nothing seems to matter anymore
U have shattered my world
Into pieces of regret